Toilet diving...OR...How much do I love this boy?

When I became a mom, no one told me that I would be expected to do some crazy, weird stuff. I knew I'd wipe their faces with my spit, like all moms do, but on Saturday, I reached a new high (or low?) in motherhood. Here's the story:

Part One: In a prior post, I mentioned going to Blue Koi with friends this past Saturday. Well, the night before, Roan had a bout of stomach flu. But, when it comes to socializing, Roan's not about to let a little vomiting and diarrhea get him down. He said he felt well enough to go to lunch...

Part Two: Roan's new obsession is a set of keys. Just old house and car keys that I found in a drawer and gave to him... well, he can entertain himself with these for hours. The keys go everywhere with us, and God forbid they get lost. This obsession will last a few weeks, then he'll move his focus elsewhere.

Part Three: We made it through lunch and were visiting when Roan announced (for the whole restaurant to hear) that he needed to go to the bathroom. So Sclie joined us in the bathroom, because women have to go potty together, right? We let Roan go first while we visited. He had the yucky poops (sorry if that's TMI, but it's pertinent to the story). While he's doing his business, he's playing with his key ring. Soon, I hear a suspicious noise, then immediately Roan starts wailing "I dropped my keys!!!!" I look at Sclie and say that I hope he hasn't dropped his keys where I think he's dropped his keys....and went in with him. Sure enough, his key ring was in the toilet! I immediately think "Oh gee, now what???" It's not like I can flush them -- not good for the pipes and not good for the rest of my day, given how Roan would react to losing the darn keys. So here's what I did for this sweet boy...

Part Four: I go back out to our table and get a set of chopsticks and a fork. Of course, I can't do this nonchalantly.... "Why are you taking a fork into the bathroom, Sonia?" Oh boy, what do I say? So I tell them.... I have to fish Roan's keys out of the toilet, and I really don't want to put my hand in the water. And off I go, fork and chopsticks in hand, praying one will work.

Part Five: Back in the bathroom stall, I get Ro up and dressed, all the while hearing "What are you gonna do, mom? Why do you have a fork in your hand, mom? How are you gonna get my keys? Please don't flush my keys! I LOOOOVVE my keys!" Nothing like a little pressure on my first attempt at toilet diving. So I use the fork and fish for these darned keys. Please keep in mind that the water is not clear. Wow. Not the easiest thing I've ever done.

In a minute or two... SUCCESS!!! After a little soap and water, then bleach at home later, the keys were safely returned to their owner, my sweet little man. How much do I love this boy? Enough to pluck his keys from dirty toilet water, for sure. He says he loves me to Aunt TeeTee's and back, to the moon and back, to Heaven and back... I love him at least that much and more. He and his sissy are the loves of my life, and I will do anything for them!