A Test of My Patience...

School registration is tomorrow and Wednesday, so I'm trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a row. I actually know where the kids' birth certificates are...so I probably won't need them. Anyway, ever year, it's a big deal to bring your childrens' vaccination record. Well, of course, we don't vaccinate, so we have no records to bring. Instead, I fill out a 'Religious Immunization Exemption", documenting that my kids will be vaccinated over my dead body. Literally. When we lived in KC, the preschool and the local school district accepted the form if you printed it from an online resource. Easy. Cool. I liked it. When we moved to Jeff City this time last year, I was informed that the public school system here requires a parent to go to the Health Department to get the *same form*, but printed on card stock. Nothing else will do. So last year, I traipsed down there, waited forever... only to be taken to a room with a nurse who tried to lecture me about the dangers of childhood diseases...and to actually tell me that I would be responsible for their deaths should they contract Chicken Pox or Measles. I listened politely, explained that I had researched it for many years, that I was confident that this was the right choice for our family, blah blah blah. She kept after me until, through clenched teeth, I said "I'm a doctor. I don't need to hear your lecture." After which she promptly gave me my exemption cards and let me leave.

So this year, I wondered about our exemption... surely, the exemption forms in their files would stand for this year, right? Right? Any reasonable person would think so. Just to be sure, I called the school, and was informed that I must produce a NEW exemption form every school year. And yes, we are still required to obtain said form from the Health Department.

I'll bet you can guess what I did on my lunch hour. To get these little cards...Off to the Health Department. Did you know that no one there ever gets in a hurry, even if there's a waiting room full of people? And that you have to fill out this long form with all of your previous names, all allergies, social security number, etc. Then I had to give them my driver license. Really? Just for a simple form? I was prepared to go toe-to-toe with the nurse again, but it actually turned out better than I thought. She was more interested in why I hadn't had a Tetanus shot since 1989. "A sweet old man in Southwest Missouri died of Tetanus, you know!" Yeah, yeah. Whatever. So she gave me the speech about how, if there was an outbreak of a communicable disease, my kids would have to stay home..."for their protection". I smiled and nodded. I even chuckled a time or two. I also thought to myself "Eventually, they'll probably start charging us for these forms." Then she said, "I'm supposed to give you a long lecture about the dangers of not vaccinating...but I don't think you need it". I explained to her that no one comes to this decision lightly; I have been researching the topic for over 10 years and have a deep and thorough understanding of all the issues. Finally, I told her that the choice to vaccinate is a basic human right; it is my choice. Then she agreed with me. I was in and out in a flash; I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe because of our meeting today, she'll do a little research of her own, and find out that my decision is based on facts and evidence...and that I'm not some wacked out, lunatic fringe, crunchy granola weirdo. Each one teach one, right?